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Predicting the Next 56 Years of Tom Brady’s Career
By: Khaqan Khan & Victor Olorunfemi
At age 44, Tom Brady found another way to defy odds. On opening day, Brady outdueled Dak Prescott, who is young enough to be his son, and left people wondering, 'did Tom Brady get better?' Brady looked sharp, showing no signs of deterioration as he threw for 379 yds and 4 TDs, including a game-winning drive. Before kick-off, many assumed this might be his last opening day, but after the game, it got us wondering, how long can he keep this up? So we, the experts at the ICT Zone, try to predict the rest of Tom Brady's playing career using advanced algorithms and tarot cards.
2022, Age 45 - Tom Brady had announced years ago that he wanted to retire at age 45, but after a playoff loss left a bitter taste in his mouth, Tom makes a U-Turn and decides he wants to keep playing for one last chance at a ring.
2024, Age 47 - Tom Brady announces to Joe Rogan that he wishes to continue playing after finding inspiration from Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson preventing World War Three by making a movie called 'WWIII.' The movie captured the hearts of Iranian and Chinese diplomats with its emotionally charged dialogue and moving dance choreography.
2027, Age 50 - The year is 2027. Tom Brady is 50 years old and decides to make one more run at it. Why? He witnessed LeBron play an NBA game with Bronny a few years before. And so, the Buccaneers sign Tom Brady's son, John Edward, an undrafted rookie tight end out of Michigan. They become the NFL'S first ever father-son duo to play in the same game.
2035, Age 58 - Once California physically separated from the United States due to climate change, the NFL now technically has 60 different teams in 30 different countries. It gives Brady a new milestone to strive towards, especially since all his kids are off to college.
2042, Age 65 - Tom Brady is 65 and, at this point, way past his prime. He threw twice as many interceptions as touchdown passes the season before, and as a free agent, all 60 NFL teams refuse to sign him. So at age 65, Tom Brady decides to use his Government-issued retirement funds in combination with his career earnings and start his own NFL franchise. Tom creates his own NFL franchise to ensure his NFL dream continues. The team is based in Thomas County, Kansas, and will be known as the Tom Bradys.
2046, Age 69 - Tom Brady honors his late great friend Peyton Manning by checking down 18 times in a game after he promised he would during eulogy in the morning. In the post-game press conference, a tearful Brady reflects on how fickle life can be. Clinching his walking stick, Brady announces that during the offseason, he's going to pursue a new chapter in his life. He will be running for President against the Incumbent Jennifer Lawerence.
2054, Age 77 - Tom Brady throws his 1,500th NFL touchdown pass to his grandson, Tom Brady The Third. The Tom Bradys finish the regular season 18 and 2 (the NFL has added more games despite player protests) and take down the Patriots led by Arch Manning in the super bowl, who retires after the game.
2063, Age 86 - Tom Brady is late for the game (Alzheimer's) against the Budapest Buzzsaws. Brady sets yet another record by throwing ten interceptions in a single game that prevented the team from having an undefeated record. The Tom Bradys finish with a 20-1 record.
2072, Age 95 - Tom ends the season as the Tom Brady Bowl champions. Formerly known as the Super Bowl, the name was changed in 2067. It's Tom Brady's 25th super bowl win, and on the podium, he celebrates by kissing his entire family on the lips. It takes a while to get to his 36 sons, grandsons, and great-grandsons.
2077, Age 100 - After meeting with Father Time, Tom Brady calls a press conference to publicly apologize to Death for sending him on a wild goose chase. However, Brady reassured the press that he plans on slowing down. He wishes to continue playing so he can outlive Bill Belichick's lineage but knows it's finally time.
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