1. The New England Patriots
The rich get richer. Just when you think this 2 decades-long run of dominance is finally over, boom here comes Bill Belichick off the top ropes. At 5 foot seven, with world-class foot speed, Lionel Messi is the perfect slot white receiver. Lionel Messi comes into a winning culture for a team with great tradition, he gets to play with a proven coach he can trust. The only thing that holds the Patriots is the uncertainty at Quarterback now that Tom Brady is gone, but if one thing Messi has proved to us time and time, he does not always need a good passer, he can take it to the rack himself.
2. Dallas Mavericks
Lakers and Warriors may seem like obvious choices, but Messi won't be eager to join another aging team. The Mavs culture is very pro soccer, Messi would feel right at home at the starting point guard. This team is now a Championship contender.
3. Any Baseball Team
Here's a way Lionel Messi can rack up endorsements, earn a hefty weekly wage, be adored by fans, and win championships. Just sign with a baseball team. Any team. Any team at all. Baseball is desperate for some positive press and fan engagement. Imagine Messi at shortstop with his quickness and god-like reflexes. He could be the second coming of Derek Jeter. If I'm the MLB, I'm paying Messi as much money as he wants, and rigging the league for whatever team he signs for. None of that double AA crap Michael Jordan had to go through. Messi signs with the Marlins, guess what? The Marlins go undefeated.
4. Dallas Cowboys
Messi is notorious for pulling strings for everyone on the field. Cowboys are an elite quarterback away, and Messi might be that man. He would be very expensive though so some trades will have to be made. But if Dallas lands Messi, America's team just landed the most popular athlete in the world.